Can we win the war in Iraq? Most Americans don’t think so and certainly the news coming out of Iraq each day is hardly hopeful. The Iraq surge might have been temporarily successful at dispersing violence throughout Iraq and might have been successful at quelling temporary hot-zones of violence. However, the surge has failed to answer the fundamental problem underlying the future of Iraq, namely the formation and stability of a permanent Iraqi government. We are no closer to accomplishing this goal today than we were a year ago. However, I believe that I have come up with perhaps the perfect solution towards rectifying this situation. Follow me after the jump..
Praise For Eric From Manassas's and his "Iraqi Plan"
"A brilliant plan! Eric From Manassas is one of the smartest and most serious minds in foreign policy in this country."
- David S. "Increasingly Irrelevant" Broder, columnist Washington Post
"I think if this plan is instituted it will be a tipping in point in Iraq and we will see real change in the next 5 to 6 months."
- Tom "Boy Who Cried Wolf" Friedman, columnist New York Times
With such ringing endorsments from such serious and respected luminaries of the mainstream media establishment it is little wonder that my plan has been called "a great, clever concept, and its family fun" by Anne Gilbert, Filmcritic.com.
"So what's the plan?"
My plan is simple and I believe it answers the fundamental dilemma facing us in Iraq, the simple fact that the Iraqi government is a mess and looks ready to collapse at any point in time. Therefore, to answer that quandary I have developed a plan that states if the Iraqi's cannot set up a permanent and stable government by January 21st, 2009, we will give them a government.
"What?"
Yes, if the Iraqi’s are unable to set up their own government by that date we will give them one. What government you ask? Why I think the answer is obvious, we will give them the Bush administration. The Bush administration has extensive experience dealing with Iraq and will be out of a job very soon, we can simply give them to Iraq and kill two birds with one stone. The Bush administration will remain gainfully employed and off welfare and the Iraqi people will have a stable and decidedly permanently government.
"So what are the benefits of this plan?"
Motivation:
This "suggestion" will greatly motivate the Iraqi people to rally around their own government and might prevent us from having to give them the Bush administration at all. If people thought the Bush administration was callous and unresponsive to Hurricane Katrina, just imagine how they’d respond in a country that couldn’t even vote for them. Truly, it would be a scenario that would make even the most stone-hearted Iraqi fighter whimper in terror. Not to mention the total disregard for the rule of law, the mismanaged economic strategies, the cronyism, the general incompetence and corruption and that’s not even mentioning the support for mercenary groups like Blackwater USA. All of that is in a country that is at least, in theory, a free and liberal democracy. The Iraqi’s know they could not expect such kindness from the Bush administration if they were to take over in Iraq.
Stability:
It wouldn’t take too much effort for the Bush administration to quickly quietly any threats from insurgents. A simple suggestion that Vice President Cheney is in the mood for some "quail-hunting" would quickly quiet even the most belligerent of insurgents.
Second Chance:
Even President George W. "Crabgrass" Bush admits that the Iraq War was "a really dumb frat initiation that got way out of hand." By sending the Bush Administration to Iraq we would force them to fix problems they created. They could build roads, pick up trash and help old ladies cross minefields. All of this would also keep them from running amok in our street and causing all sorts of "wacky" antics involving ghosts and talking dogs and LSD.
"Any negatives with this plan?"
None whatsoever, but if there are I am sure I will add a very small and confused "correction". Probably.
"Good plan!"
Thank You.